the next person who asks me about college or what I’m planning to do with my life is gonna get cuntpunted

lets come up with some creative answers to shut people up.

“I’m going to play with saggy dingalings for money”

“I’m gonna keep waiting for my real parents to come back from killing war criminals and stealing their gold to get me”

“I think I’ll go stop by the humane society to collect the bodies of dead cats and leave them on the doorsteps of people who have wronged me.”

“I’m going to create the sharpest samurai sword known to man and use it to cut the tags off people’s new sweaters after they leave the Gap.”

“I have pretty nice feet, I think I’ll go find Quentin Tarantino and let him have his way with them. For a price.”